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Last Sunday morning I woke up about an hour before game time. I wanted to make sure I was able to set my fantasy football roster before all the morning games started. After that I had my breakfast and coffee when jump-started my dad and kick-started my colon. While sitting there dropping my morning glory the morning games started and the national anthem began to play. It was a great conundrum I was in considering I was turtling and I had to make a choice. Do I dare remain seated and disrespect everybody who ever served in the military and our country, or do I disrespect the cleanliness of my own bathroom (and we all know cleanliness is next to Godliness). Then I realized it didn’t matter at all. Nobody really cares, it’s all a bunch of phony patriotism and keyboard warriors who act like this is a big deal. The easily offended left and the easily offended right do battle and all I want to do is drop a deuce is peace.


Submitted by Victor


Submitted by Ortiz



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