No one gives a flying fuck about how dilated you are, as you Facebook from your hospital bed, because, God forbid, you’re not getting enough attention as you writhe in agony while your husband flirts with the nurse. Literally, no one cares. In fact, no one gives a shit about your weird alien-looking baby until he or she can actually start to do human activities. (Call me when the kid can play an instrument, not when he makes “poopie” for the first time…)
no one gives a shit about your weird alien-looking baby
Look, I’m happy you got pregnant; I’m happy you had a kid. But don’t clog my newsfeed with meaningless details and photos of his or her life. It’s a feeble attempt to regain the attention you stopped getting after your wedding and post-first trimester. You can disagree with me all you’d like, but that’s all social networking is about… attention.
I’m happy you had a kid. But don’t clog my newsfeed with meaningless details and photos of his or her life.
And in the vein of attention, think about your poor, voiceless child. You think he or she is gonna want his or her genitals and/or ass plastered all over the Internet? Let alone risk any such photos being memed by assholes the likes of us? I think not.
So when your “little angel” starts banging hookers and telling you to “Go fuck yourself!” at the ripe ol’ age of 18, don’t say I didn’t warn you/tell you so.
You’re welcome…
Go fuck yourself…