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weeks old

Enough with talking about how old your baby is in weeks or months.  After one year, you have to start using the years as age references.


breakup

If my girl catches the bouquet, I’m leaving her that night.  This is unacceptable


target pick up

This is way better than the meet girls at coffee shops advice people who know nothing give.



summer body

I haven’t had a summer body since I played 3 sports in high school.  I don’t miss all the work I had to do for it


stalling

Sometimes I just want some company when I drop a deuce.


sons of anarchy

I never watched Sons of Anarchy.  I don’t understand all that white trash stuff






wonder woman

Wait, Superman is an illegal alien?  Build the wall


seth rogen

Seth Rogen is way funnier though


romper

I want to get a romper just to piss people off



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