I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard a female utter the above phrase in reference to the fact she’s grown weary of dating “good guys” (and whatever that means in this day and age I’m still trying to ascertain), and has subsequently opted to seek a man/men she assumes will be the polar opposite of those she’s become bored with/by. If you happen to be one such female, I have only one piece of advice: You don’t want a bad boy. Why? Read along…
You don’t want a bad boy in the traditional sense of the word; you merely want to date/be with someone who treats you poorly enough that you can run home and complain to your girlfriends about. Why? Because it gives you the attention you so desperately crave. Why? Well, fuck, I’m not a shrink; but I’m sure there could be a million explanations for that one… none of which will be touched upon in this blog. In fact, I don’t even think a novel would suffice.
Well, fuck, I’m not a shrink; but I’m sure there could be a million explanations for that one…
The other reason you seek a partner who will inevitably treat you like shit is your innate (and completely mysterious) desire to “fix” him. I’ve never been able to comprehend this ideology, but perhaps it stems from a female’s biological mothering propensity to nurture. Whatever the case may be, you can’t “fix” someone who doesn’t feel as though they’re personally broken. Thus, it invariably becomes an exercise in futility. But keep trying… I’m sure you’ll succeed one of these days. Wow, I couldn’t even type that without laughing hysterically…
Here are a few words of wisdom, ladies: “bad boys” aren’t so bad as they seem. Ooh, you want a man who rides a motorcycle? Yeah, some of my friends who ride bikes also happen to be the biggest pussies I know. Try again. How about a musician? Oh wait… No, you don’t want a musician because most true musicians are broke, and God knows THAT’S not what you’re looking for. And if he happens to be a successful musician in this day and age, chances are he’s an emo rocker who wears female attire and “guyliner” (my, how “bad ass” considering he’ll be borrowing your clothes and makeup, and will most likely take longer than you to prep for a date), or plays in a shitty pop band lacking either balls and/or substance.
Let’s face it, the “bad ass” musicians of yesteryear, a la Motley Crue (abn even they wore tight pants and makeup), have been overshadowed by touchy-feely alternarock or hipster pop music. And let’s also not forget that by nature, a majority of male musicians are more emotional than most women. I’ll admit that I’m more in touch with my feminine side than most. After all, I’m drummer, guitarist and songwriter. But I’ve played with enough musicians and in a number of bands throughout the years to say with the utmost certainty that we’re some of the most emotional beings on the planet… a far cry from any sort of bad boyishness.